At the beginning of every workshop, my inspirational meditation teacher Charu says "saying yes to yourself might mean saying no to your partner or no to the exercise."
I remember the first time I heard this, I just could not imagine sitting across from someone and saying no to them. That would be so selfish, so rude, so... bitchy! But over time, exercises did come up that didn't feel right, or partners that didn't feel right, and I finally got past that self-judgment and have been able to eke out the word "no." In those moments, I find that I am my best advocate and that through standing up for myself I become stronger and clearer.
Saying no is not really part of our culture. We get a lot of messages that the answer is not to say no, but to manage our time better. And yet experts at the top of their fields will all tell you that saying no is the key to moving forward. Call it focus, call it making choices or call it tough love... but saying no is a must.
What thing or person or commitment is no longer serving you that you need to say no to? I'm a huge overcommitter, and there has been a pride in that "accomplishing" that I have not wanted to let go of... and yet I know in saying no is the key to my getting the things I really want and need.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
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