Sunday, April 29, 2012

Being a Beginner

I have a big show tonight. I've worked hard, prepared, agonized, had fun rehearsing, invited people...and it's almost here!

I've done bigger shows. When I was in New York I did "The Merry Widow" for 2000 people. I was playing Lo-Lo, one of the Grisettes. I loved that show. I remember saying to my friend Sarah in the dressing room between scenes, if we could have toured for 6 months with that show I would have said yes in an instant.

But I was playing a character. (A very fun, fishnets, feathers and garters character!) And now that I'm working on my first original album as a singer, I'm onstage as myself. It's totally different. Different focus, different energy, different intentions. And I've struggled with how to make that transition. Last night I spoke with an amazing fellow singer and intuitive healer, Angela Ai, and she reminded me that I'm a beginner at this. To allow myself to enjoy the process of discovery. Not to have to have it all figured out on the first try. In many ways, that permission to discover, to make mistakes, is my biggest struggle. As a lifelong performer, I've often felt that the most important thing is what other people think and how they perceive what I'm doing. And in that, I've left my own self out of the equation. The point of being an artist is to express what is true inside. And the truth is that my insides still don't have the answers. I must find them by doing.

So tonight I will be a beginner. I will express what I feel through my songs. And I will do it wrong. But I will be myself.
So, you've been in LA for a year or more - you found a place to live, you bought a car and you even signed with an agent.

Now what?

This blog is about taking your career to the next level - thinking big, thinking outside the box and working collaboratively to achieve success. Success in LA.