In the past couple years, I've learned to start speaking in the first person. Sharing my experience instead of advice and assessments. (I can still share those when asked for feedback.)
It's incredibly freeing to say "this is my experience" instead of "this is what you should do." And it's also a lot less alienating. When I tell you about my experience of losing my sister at age 25 to a drunk driver, I'm not telling you what to do or how to act or how to feel. I'm sharing my life. I'm learning to use language, like every other tool of healing, like "a loose-fitting garment." I don't need to zip myself into tiny spaces, restrict myself (or you) or create a prison. I can allow, I can be, I can breathe, I can live and I can heal.
