Pride in the Negative

I love people. That's my caveat. :)

But sometimes I get frustrated by people, too.

I see a lot of people posting how they hate math, or don't need math. Or how they're proud that their home is a mess because it makes them more interesting. Or that they just can't be on time, because that would be too restrictive.

I have to respectfully disagree with these point of view and other "pride in the negative" mindsets. For me, doing a little home cleaning or washing my car counts as self-care. And being on time is my way of showing you that I respect YOUR time. This isn't about perfectionism, and God knows it's easy for me to swing in that direction. Sometimes when I make a bunch of commitments I have to take a step back and reevaluate and realize that I actually can't do all that stuff, and a lot of times that happens when I'm late or my room is a mess. Then I get to look at all the things on my plate and ask myself, is this all serving me? Where can I simplify? And if that involves disappointing someone, I can take the time and care to let them know it's not personal and that I apologize for overcommitting.

And the kernel at the center of that acknowledgement is vulnerability. I can't do it all, I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, sometimes I have to disappoint someone. But I don't have to cover it over with a fake pride where I pretend that I intended to screw up. Ya know? Every time I trip it isn't because I wanted to entertain you with my hilarious slapstick comedy skills. Sometimes I just didn't see that uneven pavement, and I can take a deep breath and admit that I'm not perfect.